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Toxic People

Self Care – How to Not Let Toxic People Take Over Your Life

Having toxic people in your life is not easy. Everyone has issues. I mean who doesn’t have issues? But the problem is when other people’s problems start affecting you to the point of becoming sick.

I remember reading two books that changed my life forever

  1. The Disease to Please by Harriet B. Braiker, Ph.D.
  2. Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

These two books made me realize that I needed to take care of myself first before i tried to please others or tried to help others get better in any way.   This concept of becoming a door mat and allowing others to just take advantage of your kindness is not effective.

There will be people in your life that are addicted to something, are abusive or are simply difficult.   It is very easy to get consumed by other people’s problems and become physically and mentally sick due to the fact that you care so much about them.

One thing that i have learned that has helped me with toxic people is to always remember to think of me first.   To take care of me at all times.    To put myself first and not allow myself to get consumed by others.

Taking care of ourselves seems easy right?  But it isn’t that easy.   We react to situations sometimes and in addition when we love someone we want to do everything in our power to help them or make them happy.

Helping people and making people happy is not a bad thing.   It becomes a bad thing when the other person does not care about you at all or is so self consumed that they have no idea how they affect you.   This is common when someone has some sort of psychological imbalance, disorder or disease they can’t control.

I also believe that how you feel around people should tell you something.   If people you are around make you feel bad about who you are or try to put you down, make you uncomfortable in any way, then these people don’t deserve to be around you.   The problem sometimes is that these people are family members who you are supposed to love or friends or a partner or a colleague.

The lesson here is that you need to trust yourself and your gut feeling.  You need to take care of yourself and put yourself first.   I know it is easier said than done but in my humble opinion is necessary for your own happiness and sanity.